I Dreamt About You Again Old Pal

I dreamt about you again old pal.

As boys we where inseparable rascals.

You had so many girl friends while I looked on.

In spite of our friendship, you went to Friday night

parties. You didn’t mention them because I was not invited

Our high school was dominated by Eastern Europeans.

They didn’t know what to make of black people.

It seems they took the word of our southern neighbours.

My impression was it wasn’t personal.

They didn’t have interest in anyone who didn’t go

to Saturday morning Ukrainian school.

Understandably, our paths diverged.

You married a talented beautiful girl and became wealthy.

I lived in a walk up writing poetry.

I dream about you often old pal.

There’s not much to say anymore.

Im old now.

I raised a family.

I lost everything.

I went back to writing poetry.

Time is short now.

i use an inhaler and a cpak machine.

i recall the picture of me climbing out of

your parents swimming pool looking like

Adonis. I look like I dig for truffles now.

Im must have been about seventeen.

It seems I dream about you every few years.

Its usually something to do with me visiting

you in your sprawling country home.

The atmosphere is that of being an tolerated

There is a subtle disdain regarding my presence

and that you have suspicions I think you owe me something.

You owed me friendship. I don’t think that anymore.

Its unclear why I am there.

Like I am being tolerated . Like i was invited

when no-one would see me.

I don’t think your wife’s family had much for

people of colour.

It is not a concern.

It brings sadness to me

I am used to sadness.

I write poetry and it helps  a great deal,

with sadness

There are times I wish I was suicidal.

Being suicidal makes not committing suicide

easier.

Derek Earl Houghton