Two Fucking Bastards Walk Into A Cappuccino Bar.

Two fucking  bastards walk into a cappuccino  bar.

First fucking bastard says to the second fucking  bastard:

When did you first realize you where a fucking  bastard.

Second Fucking  Bastard : Who are you calling a fucking  bastard.

First fucking  bastard: I lent you fifty bucks a month ago

and you promised to pay it back .

Second bastard : You said you would

pay for half the gas during  our drive share to the office.

Haven’t seen  a penny. It’s been going on three months now.

First Fucking Bastard.: Ok. How many six dollar cappuccinos

did I pay for just because you won’t

talk to that arrogant barista.

Second  Fucking Bastard: So you’re saying its a wash.

First Fucking Bastard. Im saying’ we’re even. Yes. Its a wash.

Second Bastard: Who does that barista

think he is anyways. He doesn’t even do

flower swirls on my crema. Arrogant prick.

First Fucking Bastard: The girl barista t that works Mondays

with the ring in her nose and the tear  tattooed under her eye.

She does an amazing flower swirl in the crema

First Bastard.: I know. For six bucks I want hydrangeas

No! Correction. I want a fucking bouquet of hydrangeas!

Second  Fucking Bastard. Hes a fucking bastard.

First Bastard: That’s high praise for someone that thinks he’s above

making flower swirls in crema. He’s doesn’t have the qualifications

to be a Fucking Bastard..

Second Fucking  Bastard : You can say that again.

First Fucking Bastard: Why?

Second Fucking Bastard: For emphasis.

First Fucking  Bastard: I think I have made the point adequately .

Second Fucking Bastard: Jesus Christ! Alright then. Do you take premium or unleaded.

First Fucking Bastard: I also think it’s your turn to pay for the coffee.

Second Fucking Bastard: You really piss me off sometimes.

First Fucking Bastard: You like it when I take advantage of you. Admit it.

Derek Earl Houghton